Lip Service
by worldwithoutlogic
Summary: It's a contest full of puns and pick-up lines; if used to its fullest potential, this is the perfect chance for one to declare their undying love for another. But, as it turns out, this is Tamaki we're talking about. A Valentine's Day fic!


**A/N: This is the first time I actually planned to write a fic for a special occasion. No prizes as to guessing what this special occasion is. ;) Happy Valentine's Day, and I hope you enjoy it!**

**Apparently Tamaki is too dense to make full use of this perfect scenario to confess his undying love for Haruhi. But still, this is fluff and fluff means happy endings.**

**R&amp;R! Those who review (off-anon because I can't reply to guest reviews) get a complimentary pick-up line in reply. Seriously. I did a lot of research and I've got so many left over and I don't know what to do with them, haha!**

**I don't own Ouran.**

* * *

"A contest?" The club members groaned as the twins _(surprise, surprise)_ nodded in affirmation of their idea. They were worn-out after a long day's work of entertaining clients, and this sounded like a lot of work. Even the usually overactive Host Club president was idling at another corner of the room taking a break.

"Yeah, since it's Valentine's Day, we figured that it'd be a good idea—"

"—to have a contest on who has the best pick-up lines!" Kaoru finished Hikaru's sentence.

The atmosphere in the room was suddenly shrouded in disbelief.

"By pick-up lines, do you mean the cheesy, terrible kinds?" Kyouya pushed up his glasses, which was probably his version of face-palming.

"Duh, they're the only acceptable kind!" The twins chorused gleefully as they surrounded the bespectacled club member, allowing the truth to sink in in surround sound. "Of course, Haruhi will be the judge!"

"Did someone mention that Haruhi is going to be the judge?" A loud, obnoxious voice rang out from the other end of the room. And judging by the size of the third music room, Tamaki must have had very good hearing indeed to pick up on his daughter's name so quickly.

"Why yes, Tono," Hikaru's eyes twinkled mischievously. A willing vict— oops, uh, _participant_, no doubt about it.

* * *

"I'll start!" Tamaki cleared his throat officiously and turned towards the bored-looking Haruhi.

"Is your father a baker? Because you've got nice buns."

Jaws all around dropped immediately.

"_EHHHH_?" they didn't expect the first entry to the contest to be so... explicit. Did Tamaki even understand what he was saying?

Haruhi was not amused.

"Senpai... Where on earth did you learn that from?"

"I got it off a joke shop window! I'm so sorry, I didn't know what it meant!" He cried, begging Haruhi for mercy after Kyouya whispered in his ear the meaning of what he just said.

"Ranka-san will be soooo insulted," the twins taunted, while Hani-senpai attempted to console Tamaki with the interpretation that "at least you're saying that Ranka-san has good culinary skills!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know commoners used that sort of slang, _I'm sorry_!"

"You do know that that's an insult in itself, right?" Kyouya gave the King of the Host Club a sidelong glance, as the twins pranced around a dispirited Tamaki, chanting, "You just made it worse, haha!"

Tamaki's aggrieved wails of "Don't hate me, Haruhiiii!" were flatly ignored by Haruhi, as she gave a strained smile.

"Err... moving on."

* * *

"Do I really have to do this." Bored eyes gazed at the twins through the rimless glasses. It wasn't a question; it seemed more like a death threat.

"Of course! We're counting on you to make up for that disaster of a first entry! At least give Haruhi something to work with, won't you?"

"...Alright."

He paused for a moment.

"Are you a keyboard? Because... you're just my type." Kyouya said this while looking like he was in pain; his face contorted slightly as if it hurt him to say something as corny as that.

"You sound like you would rather say this to your laptop." Kaoru said blandly.

"Well, at least I came up with something. It's better than Tamaki's, isn't it?"

"Mummy, how could you betray me like this!" The aforementioned character lunged towards Kyouya and tugged on to his shirt dramatically, sliding to the ground in agony.

"I'd have to agree, though," Haruhi added, earning her another groan of angst from Tamaki.

* * *

"Okay, okay! I've got another one, and it's definitely PG-13!" Tamaki shouted, waving his hands about.

"Your turn is over, Tamaki," Haruhi reminded.

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together!" He said this with shining eyes and a hopeful look.

"Laaaame." The twins deadpanned.

"Much better, but it's not your turn, Tamaki."

"But I have to atone for my sins!" He looked outraged.

"Randomly interjecting with a new entry is not the way to go about doing this."

Dejected, he retreated to his emo corner.

* * *

Kaoru prodded the small senior in front of him.

"Your turn!"

"But I don't know any!" Hani cried, hugging Usa-chan tightly.

"Here, Mitsukuni..." Takashi bent down and whispered something into Hani's ear. The blonde nodded seriously and looked at Haruhi, determination evident in his posture.

"Excuse me, do you have any cake—"

"—Raisins—"

"Oh, oops! Thanks, Takashi. But maybe cake works just as well, so I'll just continue. Do you have any cake? How about a date?"

"... I don't think it works that way, Mitsukuni..."

"Oh— oh, okay. I'll try again. Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a cake?"

"Date! Date!" Hikaru corrected Hani in frustration.

"But why can't we use 'cake'?"

"Because then it defeats the purpose of asking about dried fruit!"

"But I don't like raisins or dates!"

"That's not the point!"

"Um... Never mind... Next entry?" Haruhi asked sheepishly, hoping that the scene in front of her wouldn't escalate into a fight all because of dried goods.

* * *

"Haruhi, Haruhi! I've got another one!"

"Oh, no..." Haruhi looked stricken as Tamaki stood up majestically again.

"Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?"

"_My name_ is Haruhi. You just used it."

"_Failllll_! It backfired!" The twins roared.

"Have mercy on me, Haruhiii," he whined, and backed off to slump into a nearby chair. His eyes screwed shut in concentration, presumably to think of something better.

* * *

"I looked up at the night sky but I couldn't see any stars, because I only see them in your eyes."

This was said by Mori with absolutely no feeling.

"Line: 8/10. Execution: 0/10, negative if possible."

"Excuse me, who's the judge here? Stop commenting on everything, Hikaru and Kaoru!" Haruhi shot a look at the twins in mock offense, before brightening up and smiling at the lanky club member in front of her. "But yeah, nice try Mori-senpai."

A hand waved enthusiastically in front of Haruhi, blocking her vision.

"Hey, hey, hey— Haruhi—"

"Can you stop interrupting the contest, senpai?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" He acted as if he didn't hear her, marching around Haruhi and tickling her shoulder in what he _assumed_ was an affectionate fashion.

Hikaru narrowed his eyes in disgust.

"Harassment!"

* * *

"Ah, it's my turn!" Kaoru pointed at himself, after making quick note of who had already presented their entries to Haruhi.

He faced the judge theatrically.

"If you were a triangle, you'd be acute one."

Tamaki stood up from his position in defiance, the scraping of his chair drawing all the members' attentions towards him.

"If I had a garden—"

"Just disqualify him already!" Hikaru was incredulous.

"Okay. Senpai, you're disqualified."

"WHAAAAAT? How could you do this to me, Haruhi!"

"I do what I please," she said nonchalantly over the wails of anguish coming from Tamaki. "Anyway, short but sweet, Kaoru. I liked it."

* * *

"All of you peasants. Watch the master of pick-up lines in action," he said confidently when it came to his turn, winking at a now visibly worn-out Haruhi.

"Hey, Haruhi... Feel my sweater!" He gestured towards the hem of his shirt.

"Isn't it just one of those designer ones your mother makes?" she looked sceptical but felt the soft material all the same.

"Yes, but not at the moment. Now, it's boyfriend material!" he said with a flourish, much to the host club's agony.

"Gah, I can't take this anymore, it's so corny!" Kaoru couldn't control his laughter as he echoed the sentiments of most of the club.

* * *

"Okay, now that all the entries are in, save for Tamaki's many ones that got him disqualified –good riddance, I might add— what's Haruhi's verdict?" Kaoru said the last part of the sentence in a sing-song voice.

"Hmm... I think all of them were acceptable, but I liked Kaoru's one the most. Simplicity is sometimes indeed the best."

"Haruhi! I am so offended that you were not enchanted by my pick-up line prowess!" Hikaru pushed past his gleeful brother, looking mock-affronted.

"It was honestly too cringey," Haruhi confessed, and Hikaru laughed.

"But that was the whole point of the contest! No worries, any victory from Kaoru's is a victory of mine too, isn't it?" He said devilishly, wrapping an arm around his brother, who smiled graciously at the embrace but cheekily shook his head when Hikaru wasn't looking.

"Well, at least that ended peacefully enough..." Kyouya said in satisfaction. "We could use the footage for the Valentine's special merchandise— cutting out Tamaki's portion, of course."

"Haruhi! You disqualified me!" Tamaki scrambled out of his emo corner and ran towards Haruhi. In his haste, he tripped over his own legs and fell flat on his face, to his mortification and the others' mirth.

"Even your legs aren't allowing you to redeem yourself," Hikaru and Kaoru laughed. "But we see how you've done such a bad job of _tripping and falling for her_." Their cackles echoed throughout the room as a mortified Tamaki got to his feet, face a deep red, and sulked all the way back on his path to Haruhi.

"Well, I guess we'll leave them to sort it out. I'm not staying behind to hear any more of his whining," Kyouya mused. The rest agreed and left.

* * *

"Haruhi!"

"What?" Her tone was carefully even.

"I know I got disqualified and all, but... How did I do?"

Haruhi was expecting a long dramatic sequence of complaints, not this. In confusion, she looked up and blurted again.

"...What?"

"How were my pick-up lines!" He looked like an earnest puppy, complete with perked-up imaginary ears.

"They were... adequate?" Honestly, she wasn't too concerned about pick-up lines. She imagined they were not practical at all.

"Did you like them?" He asked, grinning.

"Pick-up lines aren't practical in real life," she reasoned, and his face fell, imaginary puppy ears probably flopping as well.

Well, she could at least cut him some slack— she disqualified him, after all.

"Senpai, the way you're acting now makes you seem rather pathetic. But maybe your puns are just marginally funny. Just a bit," she conceded, gaze turning to the ceiling in thought.

"Really?" He seemed hopeful before his expression gave way to indignance. "Stop! Stop paying me lip service. As your Father I—"

"Seriously, senpai, you've got to stop with the puns and the pick-up lines."

"What? Where is the pun in—mmph!" His sentence was cut short as a pair of soft lips met his.

The Host Club King's eyes widened before he felt Haruhi's eyelashes fluttering shut. He closed his own eyes and held her closer, relishing the moment and taking the time to just feel—no theatrics, no over-the-top declarations—this was truly a simple and sweet gesture of affection.

Time stood still but it still felt like the moment passed too quickly; before he knew it, she was an arm's length away, holding him by the shoulders and looking squarely into his eyes as she said her next sentence with eyes full of sincerity.

"Because I wasn't paying you lip service. I mean, I just did literally, but what I'm trying to say is that although you have all the good intentions behind complimenting someone, sometimes, puns are too cheesy. Just outright say what you mean directly, you know what I mean?" she said kindly, hand squeezing his shoulder affectionately.

"But you—did you just—pun—lip—service—_literally_—" Tamaki's eyes were wide as he stammered out his words, face flushing red once again as the fact that they kissed sunk in.

"That was your consolation prize," she said, the corner of her mouth quirking up in a small, cheeky smile.

Sometimes, he really was thankful for her straightforward personality.

* * *

"But can I squeeze in one more pun? Just one more?" Tamaki asked earnestly as they walked out of the school compound together, the sky above them rapidly darkening as dusk fell around them. Haruhi sighed and shook her head in amused resignation, but motioned for him to continue.

"I thought contentment started with 'C'. So why does mine start with 'U'?

And now she couldn't help but laugh at his candid sincerity.

"Eh... That pun I can make an exception for. Just this once."


End file.
